In the three minutes it takes to read this crap, approximately 300 cars will have been stolen throughout the country.

In the same space of time 200 homes will have been broken into, and 64 young men will have auditioned for a new boy band.

In a world where taking crap from kids and pensioners seems to be mandatory, people want solutions not excuses. People want someone who's trained to answer questions not dodge them.

So stop thinking ‘Cash for Questions’, start thinking ‘Cash for Answers’, and place your cross besides the man with the plan - RCJD.

 

The next time you walk down the street take a look around you, that boy on the bike, the girl chewing gum near the cash machine, that gang of shifty looking children standing at the bus stop. Now these punks may very well be tommorrow’s future, but right here, right now, there little more than a statistic waiting to happen.

With a string of cautions, and a trail of burnt out cars in its wake, this urban cancer that is youth crime, has little to fear, preying on the weakest elements of society in order to feed its solvent fueled Steps addiction.


With his radical plans for law and order, Molderoid intends to make the streets safe again for the angry men and women who vote for him. In this new utopia, the typical left-wing slap on the wrist will be a thing of the past, being replaced by a full on kick in the balls, with a run-up and steel toe caps for good measure.

Here Johnny Crackhead and friends will be shoveling shit for $10 a tonne till that 2-seater sports car they torched is well and truly paid for (along with additional charges they incur for board, lodgings and the monthly subscription to Chix magazine).

Of course, these lenient measures will only apply to less serious offenders, with society’s hardcore scum being shipped off to the starving nations as ‘Convict Burgers®’.

  

 

With a long history of public service and an exemplary military record Rettrack Cyklon Jarial Dee Molderoid is the man to bring for a new order and lead the country into the thirty first century.

A big man with a big heart, Molderoid is a man who cares. Whether it's a child with learning disabilities, or a work-shy layabout leeching off the social, Molderoid intends to see to it that everyone contributes towards society. Whether its shovelling coal, or weaving baskets, people previously looking for a free ride can look towards a future where dignity or starvation is assured.

 

As part of a long established crime fighting team, law and order is of course Molderoid’s first priority. But what about health care, education and the defense of the nation?

Well, with the re-introduction of conscription, Molderoid intends to bend the hearts and minds of the nation to create an elite fighting force, with shiny boots and a proper hair-cut, capable of repelling any and all invaders.

Using unlimited resources, the country will once again stockpile an arsenal guaranteeing even more peace among its citizens, fear among its neighbors, and co-operation/ass kissing from its allies.

And as for the other issues … well, you’ll just have to trust him on those.


The choice is simple - when you see the box for RCJD start ticking or start crying.


To the future.

RCJD Molderoid